Proverb 1:28
“Then they will call upon me, but I will not answer;
they will seek me diligently but will not find me.”
Talk about alone.
What happens when you call for someone and they do not answer? Or seek after someone you can not find? Three sets of emotions come to mind:
Frustration and anger
That moment, when you think you’re in the midst of a conversation and you sense that the other person isn’t listening.
When we face the storms and calamities that accompany our rebuke of Wisdom and knowledge it is only natural to seek shelter. But our verse of the day says that we will not find it. We will be bruised from the pelting hail; shiver from the icy cold air; stuck by debris in the wind. We will become tired and cold and desperate for warmth and rest.
When I still don’t find it, I will blow up in anger and pride, wondering why. Under the assumption that I deserve better, I will pelt demanding questions back at the wind craving a sound reason for the tumultuous storm in my life. The answer comes like the calm after the storm, in the midst of it. Quiet and still. I am ignored and my anger swells. But in the absence of an answer, I come to terms with the fact that I am the reason. The storm is no surprise. And I chose the outcome.
Sadness and sorrow
If insecurity grew like a tree, it would produce tasteless, rotten, flawed fruit and would be cultivated in large, by rejection which often comes in the form of silence from another party.
It’s like laying your heart on the line when you’re falling in love. But when you finally go to express it, you hear nothing in return. Incoming calls from that person cease. You seek their heart but you cannot find it. You desire their attention, the sound of their voice, the reassurance that they’re still a part of your life. But there are no signs to indicate that they are. You question if they ever really were and experience a stretch of extreme loneliness. Sadness and sorrow result from the loss. Through grief-stricken tears, you desperately plead for another shot and question where you went wrong. Their silence is deafening and your heart is aching.
Sometimes the calm after the storm induces the upheaval of our insecurities. When we hear silence follow the questions that we fire off in an attempt to make sense of the storm, we question the likelihood of forgiveness and restoration. We wish for the best, fear the worst and lose sight of any hope. We bath in unrest and unease, expecting a future full of stormy weather.
Panic and fear
You’re in a public place with your child and when you turn to take hold of their tiny little hand they’re not there. You call for them and they do not answer. Then onset of fear and panic take over and you begin the wild search for your child with wide eyes and swift moves. But you can not find them.
In our search for the security of knowledge after we’ve abandoned it, we experience a similar dose of fear. Will we ever see it again? What will my future hold without it? The tension grows with every possible outcome for the future and again we find ourselves unsettled.
As people, especially Americans, we value comfort. When we hear nothing but silence respond to our questions and find nothing in our search for security, we will be anything but comfortable. Which leads us to question whether or not we can obtain comfort. And if so, how?
By heeding the voice of Wisdom. By embracing knowledge and turning at her reproof. In the face of a storm it will be chaotic and confusing and we will drown in our own filthy pit of frustration and anger, panic and fear, sadness and sorrow.