STORY Updates

On Speaking

I literally just recorded this on a whim, so please forgive the excess use of “um” and the wild hair! But, then again, yay for authenticity!

Genius

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking when we created them.”

Albert Einstein

Hope

How are you feeling
What’s Hiding in the dark?

Experiential therapist Marc Pimsler posed these two questions at the beginning of his workshop. I was a little shocked, to be honest at my optimism. So much so, that I paused the video and wrote a brief journal entry:

I used to see this darkness as an overwhelming presence, where every now and then a glimmer of light would pierce through.

Today, for the first time—maybe ever—I can say my overwhelming emotion is hopeful. Maybe there are pockets of darkness, but I'm not preoccupied with those.

So when Marc asked what's hiding in the dark, I didn't see the darkness he alluded to so much as a blanket of darkness that was keeping things hidden from my reachable grasp as I have in the past. In fact, I struggled to notice the darkness at all. But I"m recognizing that perhaps the "darkness" is tiny little hidden truths (more hope) that I simply haven't discovered yet.

Basically, I'm seeing hope upon hope. This is so radically different than where I've been before. I'm in new territory on my journey ByTheWay. There are no monsters here in this new land. But there are invisible tools and treasures lining the streets. It's a land full of riches!

My Vision

For my last workshop, I attended The Freelance Bootcamp with Rachel Cross, which provided a lot of practical information for solopreneurs. But I was surprised by the emotional reaction I had near the end of a visualization exercise she guided us through. At the very end, she prompted us to close our eyes and imagine ourselves in the future. I got so lost in my vision, I can’t remember all of the things she promoted us to imagine.

What I do know is that image is seared into my mind. In it, I had everything it ever wanted:

I saw myself in a home on the beach with fresh air blowing through the windows. I was in a tiny studio, the fireplace was lit and I was working. There was equipment for my creative endeavors: a guitar, a microphone, books. It was obvious my business was thriving. My husband appeared in the picture, which is weird, because I’m not married. But I wasn’t a bit surprised. His was supportive, smiling and serving, food and drink in his hands. We made our way to the kitchen where, an elongated wooden table sat about 16 people. The room echoed with laughter and conversation. The home was simple and small, but it had everything I ever wanted: love, warmth, food, family, friends and a space to create.

My eyes, welled with tears at the specificity of what I saw. My soul-deep hopes and dreams manifested before me. I have known all of those desires to be mine, but only in glimpses. I had never seen them all in one place at one time. And the strange thing was how deeply I believed I was not only capable, but close to that being my reality..

It reminds me of a question that was posed in the workshop I attended just before with one of my all-time favorite presenters and coach Jason Jaggard. In a nutshell he asked, are your disciplines, habits, and beliefs taking you where you want to go?

Once More

This poem from the Asia Project was just too good not to share. Take a look!

We, staring at the screens, divided always by glass
What if I told you this is not the first time we started wearing masks
Our lives so heavily filtered as if revealing our true selves is a virus we dare not catch
My God, we have gotten so good at being detached.”

The Asia Project

Unlock

These keys are another special object I hold very literally close to my heart on days that I need that extra dose of belief. They were a gift from my parents the Christmas after I returned from STORY 2017 where I discovered my courage. I came home that year and tried to describe this ethereal encounter I had–a shift in my way of thinking that unlocked limiting beliefs and liberated me from a life confined to fear. So the moment I opened my gift that Christmas, and saw keys inscribed with “faith” and “courage” was a special one. It’s an indelible memory and a story I couldn’t help but share after taking a moment to “reset” with Joe Towne what I “unlocked” with Amber Rae in 2017. But really, the thanks goes to my beautiful parents who not only tried to instill these concepts in me all along, but encapsulated them in a perfect gift that keeps on giving.

Reset

Before day two started, I attended a pre-show semi coaching session from Joe Towne who has coached professional athletes, artists and corporations. He started us out with some simple breathing and movement and then he asked us to close our eyes and think about a time we were at our best. I would encourage you to do this for a moment.

For me, I thought about the times I’ve been invited to speak to audiences and conduct workshops; about the opportunities I had to share my book with schools, the nights I invited groups of women into my home for fellowship; the times I decided to step into discomfort and face tough conversations.

Next, Towne asked us to identify a quality that was present in those experiences. What is yours? I and many of the other participants identified the quality as confidence. A little dose of belief is potent, isn’t it?

So now the goal is to prime that quality into our experiences. Sometimes we achieve this with a short reset. In reference to Towne’s previous presentation, we be intentional with the pause. And as he reminded us in our early morning session together, we focus on process and not outcome.

Unwinding

So much to digest…
Taking a moment to let it all sink in.

Values & Accountability

I just had another incredible encounter by way of a workshop with solopreneur Rachel Kross! In it, we were encouraged to narrow down, from a list of values, the three that most resonate with us. From that list, I selected Wisdom, Truth and Adventure. Just as I wrote about in my Proverb earlier today about Wisdom being possessed by the Lord at the beginning of His way, and before His works of old, she is here with me now. I believe Wisdom is as prevalent and as relevant today as she was when the stars were painted in the sky. I believe she comes to the aid of those who seek her. She is as modern as she is ancient. And she, along with her friends Truth and Adventure are pinnacles of Stories ByTheWay. They are here at the the startup. They will be at my launch party. And they will live on long after Stories ByTheWay and I cease to exist. But today, they are my commitment to my audience that they are at the heart of my service and will infuse every piece of art I create. And I trust that on the day that commitment is at risk of being breeched they will be there steering me back to this moment, reminding me of the why behind what I do.

Ancient Lore

In case you missed it, I wanted to make sure you received the invitation to check out my soliloquies on the Proverbs. The first chapter is published on the website but today, I thought I would share a little taste from the chapter I am currently working through.

Proverb 8:22
“The Lord possessed me at the beginning of His way,
Before His works of old.”

Wisdom, who is speaking here, says the Lord possessed her. She belongs to him. She is His own. When something belongs to us, we can use it as we see fit and share it with whom we desire. And like most things we value, I believe He handles her with extreme care and wants to share her with everyone He comes into contact with.

What I find interesting here is the timeline she references. When the Lord possessed her: at the beginning of His way and before his works of old.

His Way: the word is “derek” in Hebrew. It’s a course of action. A road to be trodden. We, the travelers. The path seems dark, cold, confusing and harrowing sometimes. But Wisdom was there at the beginning of it, when it had yet to be traveled at all. And here we are, a few civilizations in, and yet it still seems dark and harrowing. But we are closer to the destination than ever before and she is still among us, leading, guiding, walking.

Works of Old: An ancient performance from the Master Storyteller that commenced at the beginning of time. Before He began telling His story, by way of this grandiose performance, She was there.

Her credentials are worthy. She can and She will see to our arrival.

Hell In the Hallway

I love this twist on the familiar anecdote:

“when one door closes, another opens. But it can be hell in the hallway.”

Steve Chaparro

Tip of the Iceberg

One of the cool things about doing STORY virtually this year, is that I was able to invite a couple of friends into the experience with me. My best friend was here on the couch with me for the duration of the day. Her husband came in and out as he could between phone calls and client meetings. And after a cup of coffee, my day started with a greeting from their daughter: a hug from her tiny arms and an “I love you” from her sweet little voice.

She later set up her “school desk” in my bedroom and peppered the day with a few inquiries: “Auntie Leah, do you have any Post-Its?” “Auntie Leah, where did you get these?” She held up a bag of fudge-dipped Oreos, chocolate layering her lips in an earthy shade of lipstick. Snacks and drinks were readily available in the kitchen all day and big-time presenters spilled bits of wisdom through my bluetooth speaker all day. But the presence of some of my favorite people, sharing in the experience with me, was one of the highlights of this colossal event for me.

During a break yesterday, my friend and I processed through some of what we were learning/gathering from the content that had thus far been presented. She first illustrated that the information we received was like the tip of an iceberg peeking out above the water’s surface. And she was overwhelmed by all of the implications of the gigantic unseen iceberg below the surface. That is, until she took a walk and started journaling through what she had ingested.

I on the other hand “saw” the entire iceberg. And it excited me. I saw it as all of these opportunities for adventures to explore. I knew there were details I had yet to see up close and personal, but I knew they were there and I was chomping at the bit to start an archeological dig through the ice.

I loved comparing our perspectives of the same experience. It was a great reminder that while we all see things differently, experience them differently and may even differ in our opinions and understandings of the outside world, there’s room for all of us on the iceberg. And what a gift it is to sit and listen to someone else’s perspective. Simply for the sake of understanding their view point.

Poise

I was struck tonight by the poise of “old codger” (his words, not mine) Floyd Norman who was the first African American animator to work under Walt Disney. He pointed out how the internet has made him aware of how much he doesn’t know and how much there is to learn. True legends are always humble, aren’t they?

As I listened to him speak, he made me think harder about the story we tell just by being: the way we dress, the way we talk, the words we choose, the volume of our voice, our gestures, our expressions, all details in a story we don’t even know we’re telling. Makes me want to take a look at the story I tell by simply being me. I want to ensure the details are true to who I am and not a false version of me.

Much like his demeanor, he explained tonight that he likes to use subtly to get a message across in story. He likes to make his point in an “oblique” way and make his audience stop and think–just as he made me do. And what a gift to give your audience: to get them to stop and think rather than react.

And he left us with a parting gift of positivity for these challenging times. “We’ll get through this.” he said after explaining that he’s lived through a lifetime of traumatic events (everything from WWII to 9/11). He takes the same approach as Disney did: look for the good in things and be optimistic about the future. “We’ll make it through this,” he said. “We always have, we always will.”

Mr. Norman gained my respect in such a short period of time. After this brief introduction to him, I’m anxious to watch his documentary An Animated Life.

La Noche Oscura

I’m a sucker for poetry and language. So I was immediately intrigued when Experiential Therapist Marc Pimsler introduced the mere title, La Noche Oscura. I was in love with the piece before I even read it. The full translated poem can be read here.

Pimsler went on to explain that the word “dark” in the title, Dark night of the Soul ,is more accurately translated as an “obstruction of light”. What a beautiful perspective. It’s no wonder we are so fascinated with an eclipse. Nature teaches us some poignant lessons when we make the time to observe!

Living the thing out

I just got a text from my mom, (who may be the only one reading for all I know).  “Im just reading the first paragraph hun and there are a lot of errors.”

The fear sets in. The knowledge of my published mistakes. The narrative begins to take shape…..and then I remember all the words I’ve heard today. So what? Tomorrow is a new day. That’s the beauty in a new dawn: an inexplicable golden glory which wipes out the darkness that precedes.

Waiting Room

Much of our time is spent waiting: waiting to be an adult and all that entails; waiting for acceptance letters and job offers; waiting for your business to take off, the money to roll in and the car to be paid off; waiting for that call, the “right time”, or “the one”. Chances are, you are in a season of waiting right now. So am I.

But as writer and director Joe Towne warned today, the waiting room is “littered with traps.”

We have to be careful to use our time wisely when it comes to waiting. If we’re not intentional, we’ll watch the time go by and have nothing to show for it. Or, in the fatigue that comes with waiting, we may be tempted to settle.

Pauses are good. In fact, Towne suggests we pause before and after. Like athletes warm up and recover, the key, he says, is filling the pause with something purposeful. How do you pass your time in the waiting room?

Fear & Beauty

“We fear living completely in pain or in beauty.” – Brooke Shader, self-portrait artist
I don’t think any of us would argue her point that we fear living in pain. But have you ever considered the fear of living completely in beauty? I think Brooke is on to something very interesting here. I know this to be true for myself. I have an innate attraction to melancholy that sometimes keeps me from experiencing beauty to the fullest. What that means though, is that not only can I be stifled by my fear. I can be stifled by the fear of something beautiful. The danger here is an ever present trap that is set to catch us–and keep us from moving, creating, speaking.

For all the Times I messed up…

Bad stories preserve potential

Seth Worley

The Grander Story

“Remember who you are and why you’re here”

John Bucher, author and mythologist

Perspective

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On a break, I was able to capture, in part, the overarching theme of the conference in these pictures. It’s really a simple concept, the theme: The dawning of a new day. It has to do with shifting light and it’s relation to darkness. In our real life applications, we tend to cower from the dark, always in search of the light, for clarity, for vision, for comfort. But the mystery in it all is that darkness serves a purpose. Take, for instance, these pictures I just took on my walk. Same subject matter, minor changes in perspective. And yet certain details (or lack thereof) are magnified by simple shifts in perspective. Sometimes we see our circumstances clearly, sometimes they’re a blur. Makes me wonder about how I can look differently at the less-than-ideal situations I’ve found myself in lately: a little blurry, many details out of focus, still beautiful, nonetheless.

New Favorite Artist

Thanks to this amazing conference, I’m introduced to new talent every year. This year, Matthew Perryman Jones has stolen the show for me with a live performance of his song Long Way Home From Here. The entire song is a lyrical masterpiece but this line in particular has struck me as beautiful:

“Those` words I never said
Stuck in my mouth
Now they’re spinning in my head
And I’m gonna spit ’em out.”

Matthew Perryman Jones

On Time

Become a time navigator.

Shannon Curley, writer and creative strategist

Know when to slow down or speed up. Use your hands like the hands of a clock to be a keeper of time.

What’s in a story?

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At the pre-conference virtual happy hour, tonight, we were asked to show up with an object of significance; something that broadens the story of ourselves. Given these instructions, I showed up with the small book you see pictured above. Here’s the story:

When I left the Sixth Grade, my teacher gifted each of her students with a small notebook containing pictures from the school year, short quotes, stamps and handwritten messages. I liked it so much, I chose to keep adding to it and over the years, it has been filled with treasures: words from important people in my life.

I periodically return to this book for guidance. It’s filled with words of Wisdom that have served me well especially in years like 2020. When I’ve felt alone, it’s reminded me that I am loved. When I’ve been confused, it provided clarity. It’s been a beacon of hope when I’ve been in the dark. And it’s a little time capsule, with records of things people have said to me.

Disney filmmaker, Don Hahn said this tonight, “Your story is influential in many ways you don’t know.” That is true for my sixth grade teacher. She was simply doing her job (a great job at that) as a teacher. When she gifted me with this small book, she had no idea the significant role it would play in my life.

She didn’t know that I would still have it 25 years later or that it would turn into one of my most valuable keepsakes. She couldn’t have known that I would shed tears over its pages in some of my most desperate moments, or that it would bring a smile to my face every time I open it.

Nor did she know that it would serve as practice pages for a website I would later start called Stories ByTheWay.

If you were at the conference, what object would you have shared and how is it telling of your story?